Golf Jokes – One Liners For 2020

Here’s our top golf one liners – perfect for a few extra laughs around the course. Especially if you struggle to remember the longer jokes. If you like the longer longer jokes, check out our selection of clean golf jokes here, or if you aren’t easily offended, our rude golf jokes are here.

 

Golf HumorIf you are playing with a golfer who says they never cheat, they’re also a liar.

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My golf game is a lot like masturbating – I enjoy it a lot, but it’s not pretty to watch.

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Your golf game is so bad, you had to re grip your ball retriever

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You should always try before you buy, especially when buying a putter. Never buy a putter until you’ve seen how well you can throw it.

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The problem with your golf game is that you are standing too close to the ball after you’ve hit it.

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If your golfing buddy can’t remember whether they hit a 5 or a 6 on a par 3, he most probably shot a 7.

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The best golf partners are the ones that are not quite as good as you.

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The problem with golf groups is that the slow ones are always in front, and the fast ones are always behind you.

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golf quipsGolf is a strange game – you yell “fore”, shoot a 7 and write down a 5

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The higher the handicap of the golfer, the more likely it is that he’ll be telling you what you should be doing to fix your game.

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I find it a lot easier to git the fairway when I tee off if I’m not too picky about which fairway.

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Brand new golf balls have a strong attraction to treelines and water. The strength of the attraction is in direct proportion to how expensive the ball is.

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You can hit a 1 acre fairway 5% of the time, but a 1 inch branch you will hit 95% of the time.

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Golf is similar to sex – It’s still pretty good, even when it’s bad.

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If you’ve been drinking, don’t drive and don’t even try and putt

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It takes a lot of balls to play golf like I do.

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I’m not that bad of a putter, I just can’t catch a break

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one liner golf jokesThe best sound in golf is the whooshing noise as your golf buddy hurls his clubs

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I have no trouble hitting the woods… but I struggle get out of them

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The best way to get better at golf it to take it up earlier in life

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Improve your golf game by practice, lessons or cheating.

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The best way to reduce shots on the score card is with an eraser.

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Golf brings out 3 year old in us – we struggle to count past 5

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great golf jokesDrives would go a lot straighter if swearing and club throwing helped them go where you wanted the ball to go

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If I hit the ball left, it’s a hook. If I hit the ball right, it’s a slice and when I hit it straight, it’s a miracle.

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In golf, the balls lie poorly and the players lie well

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If you are in the hunt for some funny golf gag gifts, here’s our top picks for a bunch of gift occasions.

Otherwise, I hope you enjoyed these short one liners. Our adult only golf jokes are available here, or if you want jokes for all ages, check out our selection of fun, clean golf jokes here.

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